Hey everyone and thanks for visiting my blog! I’ve really had an interest in creating a blog over the past few months but I don’t think I’m very good at articulating the random crap that happens in my life (and quite frankly I doubt many people would really care). So I knew I needed to focus on something that I enjoyed but could also get the readers to give their two cents on and since I’ve always loved movies I figured that would be my topic. The format of this blog will probably change somewhat over the next few months, assuming people read it. For now it will just be random movie reviews, whatever I happen to get on Netflix or go see in the theaters. In the future, though, I may put polls up to see what people would like me to review. I’m totally open for any suggestions you all may have and please feel free to comment on reviews or start up discussions about how you felt about the movie. Well, here we go…..

Tuesday, August 17, 2010



Look out! Shes got a hammer!
Wow, did anyone really see that coming?  If you have no idea what I’m talking about and don’t want the entire reason for watching this movie to be ruined then stop reading.  Let me start, for those of you who haven’t seen the movie but are still reading, by giving a little background on this movie.  John (Peter Sarsgaard) and Kate (Vera Farmiga) are a happily married couple with two children: their son Daniel and their younger daughter Max (who may be the cutest little kid I’ve ever seen in a movie and coincidentally is deaf and speaks no lines).  We find out very early in the movie that Kate had a stillbirth a few years back and struggled with drinking because of it.  Kate is just now getting over her alcohol problems and feels ready to complete the family so she and John decide to adopt.  As with every movie of this variety, they pick the seemingly normal kid, in this case Esther, who turns out to be nutso and things go horribly wrong.  At this point I’m 20 minutes into a 2 hour movie that I feel like I’ve seen 10 times before.  In fact, it seems like a total rip-off of ‘The Omen’ except it’s going to be the daughter of the devil instead of the son.  The fact that it feels like you’ve seen this movie before is actually what makes ‘Orphan’ stand out above the rest, don’t worry, I’ll get to that. 

Throughout the movie you’re given subtle and not-so-subtle hints that something isn’t quite right with Esther.

  1. Esther wears ribbons around her neck and wrists that she will not take off

  1. She smashes a pigeon with a rock
  2. Pushes a bully off a slide breaking the bully’s ankle
  3. Kills a nun with a hammer and hides the evidence
  4. Threatens her new brother with a box cutter to crotch
  5. Picks flowers from the memorial Kate set up for their unborn child
  6. Puts the car in neutral while her new sister is in the back seat
  7. Sets the tree house on fire with her brother inside
  8. Tries to smother her brother while he’s in the hospital from being injured (see #7)

Ok, most of this is not subtle at all, seems like the perfect candidate for daughter of the devil, right?  Doesn’t it seem like only a criminal mastermind could possibly get away with all this, not an 11 year old girl?  This is where ‘Orphan’ gets very interesting.  It turns out that Esther was actually in a mental hospital and has a very rare disease that I can’t remember the name of, but the concept is proportional dwarfism.  Esther is actually 33 years old but is stuck in the body of a normal 11 year old!  All she really wants is to get with John (in a very awkward scene) and when he rejects her everything comes apart, literally.  Esther takes her makeup off, takes her fake teeth out, lets the straps go that hold in her chest and thighs, and goes on a killing rampage.  But, as with all of these movies, only two people are killed (John and Esther) and everyone else is more-or-less ok.

About 90 minutes of this movie is pretty standard horror/suspense while the other 30 is actually pretty cool and unexpected, which is why I ended up liking this movie.  It’s nice to see a familiar concept taken to another level, it can really make the whole movie seem fresh instead of just the last 30 minutes.  I’m also going to point out that the acting in this movie is actually quite good considering it relies so heavily on a young, unknown actress.  The girl who plays Esther does a great job of giving you clues that Esther is older than she looks, particularly in the scenes where she kills the nun and when she threatens her brother with the box cutter.  ‘Orphan’ is definitely a movie worth seeing, I’m probably going to give it a higher score than it deserves, solely based on the fact that it actually surprised me.

SCORE: 7.5 out of 10

Well, what do you all think of my first post?  Would you rather not have the spoilers?  Was it too much of a synopsis and not enough of a “review”?  Did you find my wit too funny?  I’m up for any suggestions and feel free to discuss the movie all you want!


  1. Pickles,

    Good review and I agree with you on this one. It may be a bummer for some people who don't want to know exactly what happens, but you did give a warning to stop reading if they don't want the ending to be ruined! I'm your first follower :)

  2. Yeah, that's one thing I was debating when writing this post. I just figured Orphan wasn't at the top of many people's lists of movies to watch. Maybe next post I'll do more of a traditional review. 1 Follower, YESSSSS!

  3. I have deleted my bookmark for Roger Ebert and pledge my total movie allegiance to Hit or Miss Movie Reviews. Your second follower!

  4. I haven't seen Orphan. Nor am I a big movie watcher. I say thrown in a classic movie review every once in a while. So every 14th review can be a "Streetcar Named Desire" or a "Spartacus"-type thingamajigger. I think that would be interesting.

    And I know you have a thing for scary movies, but a 7.5? Really?

    I demand a Toy Story 3 review. If not, I will use this comment spot to write my own.

  5. Yeah I've got a few classic movies in my netflix queue that I plan on watching...Gone with the Wind being one of those. I agree that it probably doesn't deserve a 7.5, it's no Dawn of the Dead.

  6. T and I watched this a while back and I must say I agree with you. I liked it because it surprised me. Keep up the good work!!